Cravings & Willpower: The Instruction Manual I Wish I Had Decades Ago

My intention today is to completely turn your world upside down and inside out (with your permission, of course).

With the promise that after you read what I’m about to share, you can’t un-hear it, un-see it, and it’ll change your perspective on food and cravings forever.

If you’re not ready for that, then here’s your chance to subtly opt-out through Door 1 (blue):

Don’t read any further.

But if you pick Door 2 (red):

To enter an entirely different paradigm away from the enculturation and conditioning of modern society…

Then welcome, my dear. Please proceed…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Masculine & Feminine Psycho-Dynamics

Door 2 leads to a world where self-forcing, self-restraint, and fighting against your cravings becomes redundant. Where internal conflicts of “a part of me wants this cookie, but another part says I shouldn’t” — completely disintegrate.

But this powerful result requires a radically different architecture.

Which is built on the foundation I call:

Restoring the Inner Marriage: Balancing the Masculine and Feminine Energies Within.

— To end the war against yourself.

.

.

And what does that meannnnn, exactly??…

Well, here are the basics:

The simplest (and truest) reason why Willpower doesn’t work to curb Desire (cravings) is:

The Masculine is not designed to control, suppress, or force the Feminine.

When you misuse Willpower to suppress and deny the Desires that seek acknowledgement and expression, you’re stuck in an internal war.

And the victim is you.

Take a deep breath right now and receive this simple transmission.

And if you’re intrigued, allow me to take you deeper into this paradigm…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. (Displaced) Desires Of The Feminine

Desires and cravings originate from the Feminine within: to feel good, to expand, to relish, to be nourished and cherished.

You’re called by a power larger than you to grow, express, and experience the full spectrum of what’s available in this realm of existence.

Following your true Desires is a human need. Not just a “nice to have”.

It feels deeply good to meet your needs, to express yourself, to receive nourishment that truly feeds you.

So…

What happens when your needs are NOT met? When your true Desires are ignored, judged, suppressed, ridiculed?

Well:

They get displaced onto a (Symbolic) Substitute.

Meaning —

When you wanted mum’s affection as a child but she was too busy to pay attention to you, a cookie can become a Symbolic Substitute: a consolation prize standing in place of not being able to get the real thing.

• The sweetness of the cookie is pleasurable, and temporarily creates the feeling of comfort and nurturing in your body
• You feel a little better, it’s a little more bearable that mum ignored you… But the void returns soon after, and so you reach for another one
• The cookie then gets associated with numbing the pain of the unmet need for love and affection. And so the real Desire gets displaced onto a Symbolic Substitute, in most cases – food.

Now, imagine you are the little girl right now, and you’re doing the best you can to grasp the faintest echo of the nurturing you desperately longed for — by eating a dozen cookies.

Are you a failure?
Is there something wrong with you?
Should you have more willpower so you can restrain yourself from eating the cookies?

Of course not.

You are hungry for something.

But that hunger got displaced onto food. And no matter how much you eat, it will never be enough to feed that Desire for connection with mum.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. (Misuse Of) The Masculine Power Of Will

The innocent little girl: you, are doing your best to meet your Desires arising from the Feminine within, and the correct response from you is:

• to become aware of your true hunger
• to offer yourself conscious attention in this moment, even if there’s no way you can meet the need. In truth, your loving attention is enough, You don’t always need to “solve the problem”
• and if you’re able: invoke the Inner Mother to nurture yourself in the moment

Not wield Willpower like a hammer to slam down on the already vulnerable little girl.

This is a misuse of the Masculine power of will.

Also:

Willpower is finite and Desire is infinite. So it will only be a matter of time before Willpower runs out and the suppressed Desire bursts forth through the broken dam.

The Masculine energy is not meant to suppress or dominate the Feminine, it’s meant to channel and support it.

How many times have you resisted and resisted, white-knuckling it while the angel and devil on your shoulders play mental ping-pong…?

For 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, maybe even 1 month. But inevitably, the uncontrollable binge erupts “out of nowhere”, and you’re finally free from the shackles of restriction.

It’s exhilarating at first, but you also know the self-punishment and regret is just around the corner.

Willpower is not meant to suppress genuine needs and Desires.

That’s why it doesn’t work.

This war needs to end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4. Restoring The Inner Marriage

The correct use of Willpower is to serve the Feminine —

• To provide structure to support creative energy seeking to be expressed
• To contain and protect a new way of life trying to take hold
• It’s the Masculine energy, aligned with authentic purpose, that can hold you to a course of action even when it feels uncomfortable in the moment

The truly sustainable way to release cravings is to re-align that displaced Desire, to feed yourself what you actually need. To call a ceasefire between the Inner Masculine and Feminine, and to ultimately come to peace.

The impact of shifting to this paradigm of thinking will not only deeply transform the way you relate with food, but also have ripples beyond your immediate sphere of influence.

Misusing the wounded Masculine to dominate the Feminine is evident in a larger context too:

Our battles with food and the compulsion to control the shape of our bodies is the micro-expression of humanity’s macro attempt to dominate and control nature — the Earth Body. We believe that she is fundamentally wild, untamed, and dangerous. So we must monitor, manage, and “keep her under control”.

How we treat our own bodies really reflects how we treat the Earth. Do we love and appreciate her, or are we always in a war against her?

So.

The next time you feel cravings emerge and you feel that compressing energy of the Masculine wanting to squash this Desire, this Feminine energy arising from the depth, remember to pause and take a deep breath. Then —

1. Remember that Willpower is not meant to suppress genuine needs and Desires. It can’t.
2. Remember that Willpower is only to be used to support the Feminine, not force it.
3. Remember that cravings for sweets, “treats”, any food associated with comfort is a clue that a genuine Desire & need has been displaced onto that food.
4. Remember that no amount of food can truly feed that hunger for connection and love.
5. Finally, remember that it’s okay if you still choose to eat that food, but the awareness of what you really need will be the true nourishment you’re seeking.

I hope this changes your life.